Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap
by Aishuu
Summary: Touya Akira has decided to take a stab at ordinary life - by continuing his education. However, high school isn't going to be any easier than junior high - for a whole NEW set of reasons... and his Go skills won't help him this time. [COMPLETE]
1. Classes, Obsessed Teachers

Aishuu Offers:

Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap

~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~

mbsilvana@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata are the manga-ka behind this wonderful series, even though I think the entire fandom is in a state of SHOCK right now....

Notes: If this was shorter, I'd say this was a spamfic. As if is, it's humor. It's me blowing off stress from the angst and overwork... I really don't have any funny projects, so... here goes. In other words, expect this when I need to kill off some of my braincells. Of course, feedback is appreciated. And yes, I have more of Pawns and Alter Egos just about ready to roll, along with the closure to the Sakurazakumori Subaru cycle.

  


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PART ONE: Classes, Obsessed Teachers, and the Formation of the Touya Akira Fan Club

  


I missed the first day of school. It had fallen on the day an important Go match and I had a choice: either attend my first day of classes and try to reschedule a game in my already too-tight plans, or play the game and be disoriented after missing the introductory classes.

  


My decision, of course, was obvious.

  


So I found myself in the principal's office, listening to a belated orientation. The principal was not a Go fan, and did not understand what my job was, but he did understand that I was famous in some circles, and allowances should be made. Toriyama High School was not a Go school, but being able to claim me as a student was a coup for them. Along from my high grades, I was a valuable addition to their student body.

  


Still, I wondered if I was doing the right thing, attending high school. Shindou had chosen not to, and part of me was tempted to do the same. Scholastics had always come easily for me, but I wondered if I would be pushing myself too much, going to one of the top private schools in the city on top of my career. My parents hadn't pushed me either way, but I wanted to at least make the attempt. Go was my life, but it was tied to Japanese literature and history, art and culture. I wanted to know about these things and others as well, and if I didn't take the time to learn them now, I knew I never would.

  


The principal, a balding man named Reiji, shuffled the papers on his desk. I had come in early to speak to him and make the final arrangements. It probably should have been done before I registered, but my schedule had been too tight. "Touya-kun, I understand you'll be missing quite a few days of classes due to your work."

  


I nodded, feeling the silky strands of my hair brush against my cheeks. "I know. Probably about half of the schooldays during some months, less in others. I'll try to make test days, but I'll need make-ups. I'll make sure the school has an advanced schedule."

  


He considered me, tapping a finger against his chin thoughtfully. I studied his hands - it was a habit of mine. I always examined people's hands, because I knew how to read them better than faces. A faint redness in his joints told me he probably would suffer from arthritis in a few years. His hands were clean and soft, and the carefully clipped nails told of a meticulous personality. "Are you sure high school is right for you?" he asked.

  


I really felt awkward at that moment, since he was asking exactly the question that was plaguing me. "I need to do this," I said softly. "Education is a precious thing."

  


The principal seemed to soften. "It is. I'm glad you realize it. It will offer you many career opportunities in the future."

  


I blinked a bit, but bit my tongue. When I was younger, I had blown up at the ignorance of the way of Go. I remember the second time I met Shindou with biting clarity, which had taught me that not everyone knew about my world. I was set for life in a vocation I loved. This man was merely expressing one of the common points of view that Go was merely a game.

  


"Maybe," I said neutrally. "I'm making a living wage now." _And then some, _I thought with amusement. With my prizes from tournaments and tutoring, I was making enough to support a family of four in comfortable style. When I started to win title matches (as most people believed would be inevitable), my wages would skyrocket.

  


"Shall I take you through your classes?" he offered. "Your first one just started, so they'll probably treat you like a transfer."

  


I nodded, feeling my customary shyness threaten to overwhelm me. It was my curse, the inability to speak. I was introverted, like many serious Go players, and I suffered from self-consciousness when I wasn't around a goban. I rose to my feet, following the shorter man as he led me down a series of snaking hallways to my classroom.

  


I glanced up at the 1-C over the sliding doors as Reiji-sensei went in to get the teacher. A nervous hand reached up to tug at my collar, and I glanced down at my new uniform. It was solid navy with a white shirt underneath. I had bought one that fit right off, rather than one that was too-large to be grown into, the way many students did. I would be able to replace them easily with my salary. I hardly ever touched the money I earned, and I figured that I could at least treat myself to properly tailored clothes.

  


The teacher came out moments later, and I smiled at her. She was a woman barely into her thirties, wearing her long black hair fastened to the nape of her neck. She was pretty in a comfortable sort of way. "Hello, Touya-kun," she said. "I'm Sakurada Sakuno and I'm your literature teacher. If you come in, I can introduce you to the class. Did you manage to get books?"

  


I held up my book bag. I had replaced it after three years in Kaio, even though my old one had hardly been worn. I had indulged, figuring high school was a major transition. I hadn't needed to, because my belongings rarely wore out. I was careful with my things - Shindou would have said anal compulsively meticulous."They're in here," I told her.

  


She gave me a smile. "Well, we did introductions yesterday. You'll have to introduce yourself and I guess others can introduce themselves to you later - I'm in the middle of a lecture, and it'd be getting off track if I fall behind in my lesson plan."

  


"I had a prior obligation. It will happen frequently. I'll be doing lots of make-up work,"I explained, since her quirked eyebrow told me she was wondering how a student could miss orientation day.

  


"Really? Well, come to the teacher's room after school and we'll discuss it. If it's okay with the administration, I'm sure something can be arranged."

  


I nodded as she turned to the door. The principal smiled at us and we left him. I swallowed hard, but forced my face to remain smooth._ It's no worse than dealing with the press, _I told myself. _I mean, it's just a bunch of teenagers..._

  


_Right._

  


The class turned curious eyes on me as I lingered in the front of the room. Sakurada-sensei didn't write my name on the board, but merely turned to the students. There were about forty, and I glanced around to see if anyone had recognized me. The girls all seemed giggly and the boys indifferent, which I figured was a good thing. I didn't want this to go the way my life had at Kaio. The last thing I needed was a repeat of my first year of middle school.

  


"This is Touya Akira. He wasn't able to make it yesterday. Touya-kun, how about you introduce yourself?"

Public speaking, the thing I dreaded most. It had taking years of coaching from my father to get used to it, but there was something different about being among my age group. I wasn't a professional, merely fifteen years old and socially stagnated. 

  


"Touya Akira. My favorite subject is Japanese literature and I like to play Go," I said, knowing I had to sound like a complete nerd. I didn't want to make a big deal of my accomplishments, realizing that would create alienation. I bowed briefly, looking at the teacher, hoping she would let me sit down.

  


She saved me. "There's a seat in the back of the room. Your classmates can introduce themselves later."

  


"Thank you," I murmured, then turned to walk towards the indicated place. It took everything I had to force myself not to run, because I could feel all the eyes on me. I settled in quickly, opening my books and listening as she began to lecture.

  


It was easy enough to follow. Father had always been fond of classic Japanese, and so were many fans of Go. _The Tale of Genji _was a staple I had read three times already, and even though she was just starting into it, I felt as though I was revisiting an old friend. The wonderful thing about literature is the new discoveries and nuances you find each time. 

  


She randomly called on students to read, and I winced occasionally inside as they struggled over the antiquated words. It was meant to be read at a rhythm, not a stuttering halt. She didn't call on me, though, and I wondered if I was relieved or not. It would have been a pleasure to do it right. This was supposed to be one of the top schools in the city, but apparently I hadn't made it into the advanced class. I supposed my attendance record had been against me.

  


The next classes went by quickly, and before I knew it, it was lunch... and time for the inquisition. I pulled the lunch my mother had made for me out of my bag, but I knew I was about to get hit from ten different sides with questions.

  


Sure enough, three girls pushed their desks over immediately. I looked at them, wondering exactly what they were going to ask of me and if there was any way to get out of it. "Hello," I said cautiously. 

  


"Hello!" chirped one with a butterfly hair tie in her hair that fluttered when she turned her head. "I'm Fuyata Chieko, and these are my friends, Tai Risa and Wakahara Maaya. We thought you'd be lonely on your first day, so we decided to keep you company."

  


_And interrogate me,_ I thought. "Um, that's nice of you." I glanced around, noticing the guys watching me and the girls watching the trio, and everyone seemed to be envious._ Oh, Kami-sama.._. I prayed. I'd just been declared as the most desirable guy in class. That did not bode well for making friends.

  


Risa laughed. Her laugh was a bit high-pitched, and grated unpleasantly. "Well, how about you tell us about yourself?" she asked. "Why did you miss yesterday? After entrance exams, I thought no one would want to!"

  


"I had a prior commitment," I said softly, hoping that would draw her off.

  


"Oh?" Maaya leaned closer, and I caught a hint of delicate lavender perfume, a lavender that went perfectly with the pale violet nail polish she was wearing. "That was poor scheduling."

  


"Unavoidable," I said. I poked at a bit of rice, feeling my appetite leaving.

  


A match against Kurata-8-dan, certainly nothing I wanted to miss. For the first time, I had defeated him, overcoming his legendary intuition. I was now going to advance into the finals of the Honinbou match, playing Kuwabara. I fully intended to win my first title. Shindou was going into the finals of the Kiseki match, having edged me in our semi-final game, and I refused to let him take all the glory. Shindou was my rival, and if he got a step ahead of me, I knew he wasn't going to let me forget it.

  


Shindou was many things, but the one thing he wasn't was tactful. 

Chieko was the one who took up the thread of conversation. "If you need notes from yesterday, I can make you photocopies of mine. We didn't do too much, but missing the first day puts anyone off-balance."

  


I nodded. "That's kind of you." I studied her face, wondering if she would be a good person to ask to get the notes from regularly, since I anticipated missing at least two days of classes a week, due to games. Thursdays were definite, and Saturdays as well. 

  


"It's not a problem! Anything for a classmate! If you need anything, feel free to ask any of us!" she said so cheerfully that I could heard the exclamation points after each phrase quite clearly.

  


"Um, thanks," I replied, inclining my head. "I'll do that." 

  


Lunch dragged on, with the three girls flirting with me quite obviously, the guys casting me dirty looks, and my stomach twisting in knots. Thankfully, the period ended and chemistry started. 

  


It was my math class where the day went completely to hell.

  


My math teacher, a man in his late forties starting to go to fat who would have fit in perfectly at my father's Go salon, walked in. I pulled out my textbook and opened it up to a fresh sheet of notebook paper. Math wasn't my favorite subject, but it was easy because counting was such an important part of Go. I tapped my pen against my chin, hoping the lecture would be interesting but doubting it. There were few teachers who were able to make math come alive.

  


"I understand we have a new student?" the teacher said as he picked up a piece of chalk. "Can you please stand so I can see you?" His voice was a melodic baritone that I knew would lull me to sleep if I didn't make an effort to concentrate.

  


I rose, a bit tired of the routine. "Touya Akira," I said to introduce myself.

  


His eyes went wide and the chalk clattered to the floor as it slipped from his fingers. "Touya-4-dan?" he whispered in shock.

  


I resisted the urge to smack my forehead only through sheer strength of will. It had all be going too well. "Um... yes?" I said.

He grinned at me, and I saw the passion in his eyes that only a true go afficionado could have. By now, the other students were staring at me like I had come from the moon and I knew all chances of anonymity were blown. "This is such a pleasure, Touya-sensei!" he said, and before I knew it he came bouncing down the aisle like a ten year old. "I saw your name on the roster, but I didn't think it was THE Touya Akira!"

I wanted a giant hole to open up and swallow me whole. Being addressed as "sensei" by your teacher wasn't a great way to win friends and influence people. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks. "Um..." I looked around, trying to find some way out of it, but all I saw were a bunch of wide eyes. 

  


_Where were the alien abductions when you needed them?_ I wondered.

"I think I have autograph paper back in the teacher's room... Can I get you to..." he continued to babble.

  


I felt like a mouse who had been cornered by a cat. _Just my luck, my math teacher is one of those Go fans who raises obsession to a new level. _"Um..." I felt myself beginning to revert to the shy child I had been at twelve, before I had become a pro.

  


"Kaidou-sensei?" A voice said, interrupting him. We both turned to see Chieko rise to her feet. I wasn't sure what she was about to do, and I wondered if she was going to make matters worse. "Um, how do you know Touya-kun?"

  


He turned to stare at her. His jaw dropped as he stared at the students, who were all looking at us. "You don't know? Touya-4-dan is one of the premier Go players right now! There's talk that he's going to unseat the Honinbou in the next..." he prattled on.

  


Blank looks met him as he extolled my virtues, and all I wanted was an escape route...

  


Which didn't come. 

It took me ten minutes of embarrassed standing, stammering and blushing before he finally remembered he had a class to teach. Ten minutes of hell. And then while he taught, my classmates kept casting me glances that range from inquiry, to derision to sheer dislike.

  


_Oh, hell. _Class couldn't end quickly enough for me.

  


The minutes ticked by, and finally we were released by the final bell. I hurriedly stuffed my school bag, trying to keep my notes neat, before rising to my feet, intent on making a break for the door. 

  


Chieko and Risa stopped me, forming a solid wall. No one in class had left, and I was, once again, the center of attention.

  


"Kaidou-sensei seemed awfully impressed by you," Risa said. She raised and eyebrow curiously. "None of us have any clue what he was rambling on about. Care to explain?"

  


"Not really," I said, and I started for the door again, thinking about the haven of the Go salon or maybe going straight home and taking a nice, long nap. Naps were good things for escaping stress headaches and I felt a monstrous one coming on. 

  


Chieko was agile enough to get to the door before I did, though, and she stood in my way, bracing her hands on the frame so that I would have to move her by force if I wanted to get out. "Let's rephrase," Chieko said. "An explanation is required."

  


Glancing around, I realized that all eyes were on me. My collar felt tight around my throat, and it was only through practice at dealing with the reporters that I retained my poise. I looked at her with the cool gaze that made my opponents feel off-balance, and was slightly satisfied as she tightened her grip, obviously shaken. "I play Go professionally," I told her, deciding that admitting the truth was required."Apparently Kaidou-sensei is something of a Go fan, and is a little bit enthusiastic."

  


Dead silence, and I knew that I was in deep. I mentally pinned a sign to my back that said "Go Geek" and prepared myself to be ostracized for the rest of my high school career. I had been prepared for it, but I had been hoping to make a few friends before my career became known. That had been part of my reason for going to high school.

  


"You... play Go?"One of the boys asked. 

  


I looked over at him and nodded. "I'll be missing some days of classes to attend games. That's where I was yesterday."

  


There was dead silence, before Risa bounded up to me. "That is SO COOL!"

  


I blinked, unable to believe my ears. _Say WHAT?_


	2. Love Letters, Meddling Sister Figures

Aishuu Offers:

Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap

~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~

mbsilvana@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata wouldn't sue, right?

Notes: Wrote this over my vacation. Blame this on the Philly air.

  
  
  


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PART TWO: Love Letters, Meddling Sister Figures, and Official Notice Arrives

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Four days into classes, I was just about to pull out my hair.

  


Classes themselves weren't that difficult, but finding the time to do the work was. I found that

between my matches, my duties as a pro, and attending school, I had little free time. I could have

dealt with it, but I found that my social life was heading in the wrong direction, fast.

  


The girls were following me around like I was an idol and the guys had made it quite clear that they

hated me. It was just like Kaio, but this time, I also had a teacher who was ready to become founder

of the Touya Akira Fan Club, Toriyama High School division. It was fun all around for everyone

but me.

  


So I finally caved and decided to ask for advice.

  


The only person I had maintained contact with from Kaio, aside from Yun-sensei, was Hidaka-

sempai. I remembered her fondly for her defense of me, and though our e-mails usually contained

conversations about Go, I had the feeling she would be eager to serve as "sempai" to me. Hidaka

Yuri liked being in charge, and she would be quite eager to help me in anyway she could, simply

because she could. She was a born meddler.

  


Between her and Ichikawa, I didn't need an older sister. 

  


She was quite agreeable about meeting me Saturday afternoon at my father's Go parlor, as long as I

would play shidago with her. She was in her final year of high school at Kaio High School, first

board in the Go club and wanted pointers.

  


So that Saturday after morning classes, I went directly over, dodging the Dread Trio (as I was

starting to think of Chieko, Risa and Maaya), and going into the parlor. I hadn't shown up since

school began, so many of the customers tried to talk me into games, but I waved them off, setting

myself into a table in the back. I really didn't want anyone else overhearing this. I knew all the

customers had an avid interest in me and would try to "help." 

  


The thought terrified me.

  


Ten minutes later, the doorbell sounded, and Hidaka-sempai blew into the parlor like a tornado,

and just as unstoppable. She looked around the place like it was about to bite her. I realized

then that she had never been there and had probably been expecting one of the places

where shadier adults hung out, not realizing that the former Touya-meijin's Go parlor

catered to a higher scale customer. We had politicians and businessmen among our

regulars. Our entry fees were twice what most were. She seemed a bit relieved when none

of the men leered at her, but there was one thing I had forgotten to taken into account:

Ichikawa Harumi.

  


Ichikawa was standing behind the counter, talking to a customer. Her eyebrow quirked a bit

when she saw the high school student enter, and then narrowed. Ichikawa had appointed

herself my protector ever since a group of girls who had seen my picture in Weekly Go had

mobbed me here. Whenever a girl showed up, she would stall them, kick them out or

generally give them hell…

  


Which Hidaka-sempai would not take lying down. My throat felt tight and I rose to my feet to

prevent what was sure to be an incident that would go down in Go history. When an

irresistible force meets an immovable object...

  


"Hello," Ichikawa said, giving a smile that I recognized as slightly predatory. "I've never seen

you here before."

  


Hidaka-sempai's eyes flashed, her hackles raised. "No, this is my first time," she answered.

"I came for a game of shidago with Touya-kun."

  


"Oh?" Ichikawa said, and the sharpness in her voice had me hurrying as fast as courtesy

would allow. "Akira-kun," and a person would have to be deaf to miss how Ichikawa

stressed that she was familiar was able to address me with my first name, "really doesn't

have time for that. He's preparing for some major matches."

  


"Oh, I know. But sometimes a game between friends can help relax some stress. It's

something most good Go players know," Hidaka-sempai replied.

  


Screw courtesy, I thought. I practically sprinted the rest of the way over, stepping between

them. "Ah, Hidaka-sempai! I've been waiting for you!" I said. I gave Ichikawa a look, and

Ichikawa relaxed slightly, realizing that Hidaka-sempai was not one of the girls who had

taken to coming to the parlor since I had turned fifteen. "Ichikawa-san, there's no need to

charge the fee… she's here at my request."

  


Ichikawa nodded. "Sure thing," she said, nodding her apology to Hidaka-sempai. Before I

knew it, the two were grinning at each other. 

  


I will never understand women. 

  


I shifted on my feet, then looked at Hidaka-sempai, surprised that I had to look down on her.

She had always seemed so much larger than I, but now I had a good four inches on her.

"Follow me, and we can play in the back," I offered.

  


It only took five minutes for us to set up. Hidaka said that four stones would be enough, and

I resolved to make sure it was. For most pros, four stones would have been, but for me, I

automatically added two. I found it easier to do that than to have to be gentle. Still, a pro

could force any outcome on a lesser player, and this would be good practice.

  


We started laying our stones, and I kept trying to thing of how to ask for advice. It wasn't in

my nature to ask for help. The only people who I regularly would ask for help were my father

and Ogata, and that was all Go related. It was becoming more and more clear to me that if it

didn't deal with Go, I was hopelessly ill-equip to deal with life.

  


Hidaka-sempai was staring at the board intently before laying a stone to the right of the 4-4

star. "Touya-kun… are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" she asked.

  


I looked at the board, laying down a move that most good players would place. It wasn't the

strongest move, but it was a good move that would challenge Hidaka-sempai's strength.

"Um…" I felt a deep blush come to my cheeks, one which I had mercifully been able to

refrain from in classes. "Well…"

  


She ignored the game, staring at me with those piercing eyes that had challenged me once

before. "Touya-kun. You called me all the way over here in the first week of your high school

year. Something has to be wrong, and I'd like to know what." 

  


I wished she'd just play. I had wanted advice, but now that it was offered, I wished that it'd

go away… it was embarrassing to talk about. "Um…"

  


"Touya-kun! Are you being bullied again?" she demanded, rising forward and leaning

towards me aggressively. Her fists gripped the sides of the table, and I wasn't sure if she

was going to throttle my supposed tormenters or me for letting it happen.

  


"Bullied?" I heard from behind me, and I groaned. Ichikawa… 

  


"No, no, no!" I said, waving my hands in front of my face hurriedly to deny it. "It's nothing

like that!" Well, the boys had decided to give me the silent treatment, but that I could deal

with. Lord knew I had dealt it to Shindou enough that turnabout was fair play….

  


"You were bullied?" Ichikawa grabbed one of the spare chairs and slid it over so she was

sitting with us, integrating herself into the conversation. Her eyes were wide with concern

and she looked like she was about to make me a cup of tea, call my parents and yell at the

school.

  


Dammit. I should have know she wouldn't let it drop. "It was a while ago, Ichikawa-san," I

said. "I dealt with it…"

  


Hidaka-sempai apparently decided to use that mysterious connection of females and went

over my head as she sank back into her seat. "It almost dealt with him. It was his first year

of junior high, and he was in the Go club. Three students challenged him to blind Go

games, and like a stupid male, he played them. The first one he won, but then he tried to

play two at the same time…"

  


Stupid male? I blinked, not sure if it was a personal insult or just a general epithet.

  


"…and it was almost too much. If I hadn't walked in, they would have humiliated him, and…"

  


I glanced over at Ichikawa, and I could see that she was simmering. Oh, dear heaven help

me. I had both of them annoyed at me now… on top of the mess at school. "Okay, Akira-

kun. One day you and I are going to have a long talk about this…" Ichikawa said. "But if you

called…" she glanced over at Hidaka-sempai curiously.

  


"Hidaka Yuri."

  


"…Hidaka-san over, you're obviously having problems already. You know you can talk to me

about them, don't you?" Ichikawa gave me the you'd-better-say-yes-if-you-know-what-is-

good-for-you look.

  


"It's embarrassing," I said, burying my face in my hands.

  


"What is it?" They said in unison.

  


I suddenly realized why I had never invited Hidaka-sempai to the parlor before. My

subconscious had recognized that she and Ichikawa were far too similar for my peace of

mind and would gang up on me… and I would have no defense.

  


I couldn't think of anyway to sum it up except… "Love letters," I blurted out.

  


"WHAT?!" They exclaimed. Their shocked expressions would have been amusing had I

been in the mood to be amused… but this was my life we were talking about.

  


I flinched back, my hands covering my ears to protect them from their decibels. "Love

letters," I repeated. "Love letters, my crazy math teacher, the girls who are stalking me, the

boys who refuse to speak to me because the girls are stalking me, the fact the

administration had no clue that Go is different from Parcheesi…" I said, ticking points of on

my fingers. "And I've only been to school for four days out of the six so far, but I'm seriously

on the verge of seeing if there's any hiding places…"

  


The two looked at each other, my pained expression, then burst out into gales of laughter.

"Akira-kun…." Ichikawa gasped. "That's called normal life!"

  


I glared at her. "It's not my life!"

  


"It is now!" Hidaka-sempai told me. "The question is, what are you going to do?"

  


I froze. She was right. I had wanted advice on how to regain control over my life, but Hidaka

was telling me to cope. Wasn't that what I'd been learning ever since Shindou had derailed

me from my straight walk to the path to the pros? "I… I need to cope somehow…" I said.

"But how?" I asked. "I have no clue what to do with a Go obsessed math teacher and love

letters make me uncomfortable."

  


"About your math teacher, I'd treat him the way you do any fan. Be cool, calm and don't let

him get the better of you. Keep him on track… turn your school into a game of shidago.

Don't let him focus on your presence, but on the game. You are not important. The game

is," Ichikawa told me.

  


I nodded slowly. "He's been asking me for my autograph. I've avoided it so far… maybe I

should remind him of the separation between Touya-4-dan and Touya-kun. It's going to be

hard because he keeps trying to get advice…"

  


"You can do it," Ichikawa encouraged.

  


Hidaka seemed lost deep in thought. "As for the love letters, I think you need to make a

decision. Are you interested in having a girlfriend right now?"

  


I shook my head vehemently. "With what time?"

  


"Then you should decline all the love letters gracefully, saying that your commitments don't

allow you the time to date or something along those lines. Girls will ask you to meet them,

though, and you can't avoid that unless you want to appear to be a complete jerk."

  


T was all I could to do keep from smacking my head against the table in sheer frustration.

There are a few hundred girls in the school. If I meet each for a few minutes… then there

will be new freshmen… I was probably overestimating, but the time involved in meeting

even the ones whom I knew liked me and had already sent me love letters made me wince.

"Yes, sempai."

  


"I don't know if there's anything you can do about the guys. They'll come around eventually."

  


"Or I can remain a social pariah," I said bitterly. 

  


"Akira-kun!" Ichikawa said, her voice sharp. "It will work out."

  


"Yes, yes." I turned my attention to the goban glanced at Hidaka-sempai. "Are you going to

play?"

  


I was determined to use some of Hidaka-sempai's and Ichikawa's advice that Monday. Maybe it

will work out... 

  


The first thing I did when I arrived at school was go to my shoebox as usual. Opening it up, I

wasn't that surprised to see my shoes covered with love letters. Just turn them down gently, like

Hidaka said... I told myself before something caught my eye.

  


I was surprised by an official -looking letter that was on manilla school stationary. With shaking

hands, I pulled it out, groaning. The name on it was definitely mine. Had I managed to get in some

kind of official trouble?

I shook my head at the thought. They wouldn't leave a letter in my shoe box. I have to confess to

being a bit curious.

  


The letter wasn't sealed, so I slid it out and unfolded it. My eyes widened as I read it. 

  


"Official notice of the formation of the Touya Akira fan club, with school funding?!" I exclaimed

aloud. The letter fell from my numb fingers and I stared at in horror as it fluttered to the floor. "Can

they do that!?" I asked no one in particular.

  


The boys were glaring at me like they'd like nothing better than to stomp me under their shoe like a

disgusting bug, but one girl came over to me, one I didn't even know. "You should talk to Kaidou-

sensei. He's the advisor."

  


Why didn't that surprise me? I felt my eyes narrow dangerously. This time, they had gone too far.

"Believe me, I will."

  


END PART TWO

  


CREDITS: 

  


Credits to Hissori, of course, for all of her responses to my seemingly random questions, Sailor Mac for her totally inadvertent encouragement, the Hikaru no Go ML, Hikaru no Go LJ community, Hikaru no yaoi and FFML for their INTENTIONAL encouragement, and everyone who gave me thoughts or nudges... it's why this is out so fast and Aishuu isn't the one who snapped.

  


Up next: Touya finds out they really CAN do that....


	3. Head Games, Social Secretaries

Aishuu Offers:  
  
Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap  
  
~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~  
  
mbsilvana@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata wouldn't sue, right?  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
PART THREE: Head Games, Social Secretaries and Rising Stress Levels   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
Apparently they could do that.  
  
  
  
Or so I found out.   
  
  
  
When I went to see the administration, I immediately asked to see Reiji. Kaidou was going to be  
  
completely unreasonable, I knew, so the only other option was to go over his head and get things  
  
sorted out there.  
  
  
  
I was in a foul mood, though I'm sure only those who knew me best could have recognized it. My  
  
expression was cool and collected, and even though I was missing my first class, no one in the office  
  
saw fit to question me.  
  
  
  
It only took about half an hour to get in to see the principal. Reiji was seated behind his desk, going  
  
through the stack of papers, which had apparently not shrunk at all since the last time I saw him. His  
  
hands twitched in a slightly nervous motion, and I could tell he had a pretty good idea why I was  
  
there.  
  
  
  
Watch the hands, my father had told me when I was very young. Do they fiddle? Are they confident  
  
or too slow? Do they hesitate? The hands will tell you what the face won't. He had told me that  
  
about Go, but it was true about life as well.  
  
  
  
A lot of lessons about Go worked in life.  
  
  
  
"Hello, Reiji-sensei," I said, bowing. "I wanted to talk to you about the formation of a new club," I  
  
told him, narrowed eyes on his face. I had used the same look to make my opponents resign more  
  
than once, and I knew that Reiji would probably crack under it as well.  
  
  
  
He was made of sterner stuff than I gave him credit for. He gave me a decidedly bland smile. "I see  
  
word has reached you about your fan club forming, Touya-kun," he said. Pushing the papers aside,  
  
he threaded his fingers together on his desk  
  
  
  
"You could say that," I told him. "Is it standard school practice to fund clubs that essential amount  
  
to students stalking other students?" I asked. My voice was soft, but the tone was sharp enough that  
  
it could cut diamond. Ogata-sensei was the master of the verbal spanking, and I had learned from  
  
him.  
  
  
  
It was with great satisfaction that I saw beads of sweat begin to form at Reiji's brow. His eyebrow  
  
twitched, and I knew I had him. "I wouldn't call it THAT, Touya-kun...."  
  
  
  
"What would you call it?" I asked in a deceptively neutral voice, taking a seat across from him  
  
without invitation. Leaning forward, I stared at him without saying anything else. Mentally I began  
  
a countdown of how long he'd be able to endure my scrutiny.  
  
  
  
Five... four... three...  
  
  
  
CRACK!  
  
  
  
I could practically hear his will shatter under my intensity.  
  
  
  
He shook a bit, and his hands reached up to run through his thinning hair. "I'd call it fostering an  
  
interesting in Japanese culture," he said hurriedly."We don't have a Go club, and your presence here  
  
is to our advantage."  
  
  
  
I saw right through it. Someone higher up was pressuring the principal to strengthen the school's  
  
cultural offerings, and I made a convenient excuse. "I don't see how authorizing a /fan club/ for me  
  
is going to accomplish that!" I said coolly, even though my face still wore a smile. It was all I could  
  
do to keep from lunging forward and throttling him, but being around Shindou had heightened my  
  
patience with sheer stupidity.  
  
  
  
"The advisor has arranged to conduct Go lessons once a week and will use your games to show how  
  
the professional Go world works," Reiji explained  
  
  
  
Kaidou-sensei had officially made my life hell, I thought. "Reiji-sensei, I am here to go to school.  
  
My professional life is completely separate-"  
  
  
  
"And difficult to maintain, isn't it?" Reiji inserted. "Part of the club's duties will be to support you by  
  
making sure you receive notes from the classes you inevitably miss."  
  
  
  
"I-" I began, feeling myself backed into a corner and not liking the feeling. My smile fell away, and I  
  
gave him what Shindou called my "scary face."   
  
  
  
He flinched slightly.  
  
  
  
Good.  
  
  
  
"Reiji-sensei, you're not going to listen to any of my objections, are you?" I asked after another  
  
moment.  
  
  
  
He just looked back at me. "I don't believe you have any reason to be opposed," he replied in a  
  
tremulous voice.  
  
  
  
I could think of about fifty, and they all wore school fukus. "This isn't over," I warned him. "I will  
  
see that club dissolved!"  
  
  
  
I rose to my feet and stalked out, shutting the door quietly behind me, resisting the childish impulse  
  
to slam it. Thoughts of exactly what I'd like to do to the school administration raced through my  
  
head, but sadly I lacked the imagination to go much beyond tar and feathering.  
  
  
  
School that day was the worst it had been since I started classes.  
  
  
  
The guys in my class, who had been thawing towards me, were now treating me like a social pariah,  
  
but the girls were now staring at me openly. It was all I could to ignore them... I felt like a mouse  
  
being circled by vultures.   
  
  
  
I decided to just pay attention to lessons and figure out what the heck to do after school. Ichikawa's  
  
advice hadn't worked - I hadn't had time to use it before the girls got ahead of me. It looked like I  
  
would have to figure this out on my own.  
  
  
  
Lunchtime came, after a morning of having my classmates stare at me, though for some reason, no  
  
girls tossed notes on my desk, which was a first. I was a bit curious about that, but I thanked the  
  
kami for one small blessing.  
  
  
  
Still, even as I dug out the lunch my mother had made for me, I felt the eyes of the entire female  
  
population of the class on me. Raising my chopsticks, I took the tamago and started to eat it,  
  
ignoring the queasy feeling of nervousness. If I ignored them, maybe they'd go away....  
  
  
  
Just goes to prove I have no common sense, thinking such a thing.  
  
  
  
As one, the four girls rose from their seats, coming over. Maaya, Chieko, and Risa were there, but  
  
there was another girl I didn't know standing slightly behind them.   
  
  
  
"Hi, Touya-kun!" Maaya said. "We have something we'd like to talk to you about."  
  
  
  
"Yes?" I asked cautiously.  
  
  
  
"We're the officers of your new fanclub!" she pronounced cheerfully.  
  
  
  
My eyes automatically darted around quickly searching for an escape route. "Um," I said, trying to  
  
keep from screaming out loud in frustration. Sanctioned stalkers would have been more like it. "I  
  
really don't have time for a fan club..." I said finally. "I can't be helping girls out or anything - I'm  
  
very busy."  
  
  
  
Maaya smiled at me. "Don't worry! We'll take care of it!" She handed me a sheet of paper, and it  
  
took all of my training to keep an impassive expression.  
  
  
  
Kami-sama save me, was my first thought. There, typed out neatly, was the rest of my school life. I  
  
stared at the black letters, unwilling to process the information.  
  
  
  
"We know your time is valuable, so your fan club has taken it upon itself to make your life easier,"  
  
Chieko explained. "We've assigned someone to keep notes for when you have games, and Risa, as  
  
club secretary, is going to schedule girls during an hour each month to give love confessions and  
  
offer love letters face to face. We know you don't have time for a girlfriend, but a girl still likes to do  
  
it. We were thinking the second Friday... since you won't usually be around Saturdays."  
  
  
  
"Notes...?" I echoed.   
  
  
  
"Well, our job is to support you!" Maaya said. "I'm the president, Chieko is my V.P., Risa is  
  
secretary/treasurer...."  
  
  
  
The girls laughed before turning to the girl I didn't recognize. She was tall, taller than I was, and  
  
built along sturdy lines. She was hardly the kind of girl I would have anticipated going for the fan  
  
club business, but there was something soft in her face that made me realize she was deadly serious.  
  
  
  
"Who are you?" I asked hesitantly.  
  
  
  
"Isumi Emi," she replied shortly. "I'm your bodyguard."  
  
  
  
BODYGUARD?  
  
  
  
The chopsticks I had been holding slipped into my lunch box, but no one noticed. "Do you think  
  
that's necessary?" I asked politely, even though inside I was screaming.  
  
  
  
"Have you seen what fangirls /do/?" Chieko asked. "Emi volunteered to accompany you to festivals  
  
and other public events. Her cousin is a professional Go player, so she knows enough to follow  
  
along."  
  
  
  
Images of fangirls clawing at my clothes flashed before my eyes, one which I quickly suppressed. It  
  
was just too horrible to think on. "I'm a Go player, not an athlete! I'm not an idol," I told them.  
  
They were going too far with this!  
  
  
  
Starting the club was going too far, as far as I was concerned.  
  
  
  
"Isn't Go a sport?" Risa asked, speaking for the first time. She was the quietest of the Dread Trio.  
  
  
  
I sighed. "Yes, but...."  
  
  
  
"So you're an athlete!" she pronounced happily. "And you're very famous, so you need a  
  
bodyguard!"  
  
  
  
I stared at them, realizing they weren't going to back down.  
  
  
  
Just peachy, I thought. I'd just acquired a babysitter. From the way Emi was looking at me, I was  
  
wagering that I would have a very hard time getting away from her.  
  
  
  
Inside my head, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Shindou's was nearly dying of laughter at the  
  
whole situation.  
  
  
  
At least it couldn't get any worse, I consoled myself.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Of course, thinking that was just asking for trouble. Murphy's law is like that, and it seemed I'd  
  
been a victim to it ever since I had entered Toriyama.  
  
  
  
It was Kaidou's math class where it went down. I was studying logic proofs, something I was very  
  
good at. I was good at math, but that didn't really seem to matter to Kaidou-sensei. He kept inviting  
  
me to spend time on games, and wanted to discuss them He wasn't a bad player, but I felt like I was  
  
being taken advantage of, so I kept making excuses. He kept trying, though.  
  
  
  
"Before we get to work, I'd like your class representatives to come to the front of the room,"  
  
Kaidoh-sensei said. He motioned to two students I only knew by name, Fujita Eiri and Murisaki  
  
Hitomi.  
  
  
  
Fujita looked at Murisaki, and they spread out a pile of papers on the desk. "We should have done  
  
this earlier, but we only got the paperwork from the council meeting we had at lunch," he told us.  
  
"Our school is having a cultural festival in two weeks, and we need to do something."  
  
  
  
I paid polite attention, but I really wasn't that interested. Whatever the others decided would be fine  
  
by me. In two weeks... I didn't have a game scheduled, but a tutoring session might come up.  
  
  
  
"We're looking for suggestions, if anyone has anything," Murisaki said.  
  
  
  
"We can do an onigiri stand!" one of the girls piped up. "I'm really good at making cute ones!"  
  
  
  
"Food is going to be provided by most of the clubs, so we were thinking more about some kind of  
  
activity," Fujita said. "Is anyone any good at telling fortunes?"  
  
  
  
"How about a play?" Another girl piped up.  
  
  
  
"No time!" a boy countered.  
  
  
  
"A games room!" a boy suggested.  
  
  
  
"Too common!"  
  
  
  
I listened as they bounced ideas back and forth, amused. Some of them started squabbling of  
  
possible decorations, and reminding others it was a cultural festival.  
  
  
  
"You're overlooking the obvious," Kaidoh-sensei said from where he was observing. "Your class  
  
has a valuable asset that none of the other classes can compete with."  
  
  
  
I shut my eyes. Oh, no.... He didn't mean....  
  
  
  
I heard Maaya's enthusiastic voice as she suddenly realized what the teacher was getting at. "That  
  
would be perfect!" she squealed.  
  
  
  
"Huh? What are you talking about, Wakahara-san?" someone asked Maaya.  
  
  
  
"It's perfect! We'll turn our classroom into a Go salon, and Touya-sama can tutor!" she said  
  
gleefully.  
  
It was then I recognized that I really was starting to develop a violent side. It was all I could do not  
  
to get up and strangle her right there.  
  
  
  
END PART THREE  
  
  
  
  
  
No, this is not a yaoi story. This is Aishuu killing stress.  
  
Credit to tenshihanafubuki for the edit!  
  
  
  
Part 4: Enter the Meijin's study group. Really, don't you love "the voice of experience?" Sadly, what  
  
do you do when it doesn't HAVE experience and seems determined to laugh its ass off at you? 


	4. Another Suitor, Sex Ed

Aishuu Offers:

Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap

~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~

mbsilvana@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata wouldn't sue, right?

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

PART FOUR: Another Suitor, Sex Ed and the War on the Home Front

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


In less than a week, my class was due to host its own version of a Go salon. I was, frankly,

completely exasperated by their efforts. Some of their ideas were... odd to say the least.

  


Fujita and Murisaki were extremely competent class representatives, organizing groups for what was

to take place. One group was going to play the capturing stones game, while another was going to

serve coffee. Four girls had volunteered to be counter girls, and the rest of the class was going to

help with decorating. They had already managed to get hold of twenty cheap gobans, and were

planning on holding a raffle for a good set which Kaidou-sensei donated.

  


He also was loaning his personal goban for me to use as I tutored. I wasn't actually going to be

playing shidou-go, since that would take too long, but I would be teaching those who were willing to

pay an extra fee in ten minute sessions.

  


I was not surprised when Kaidou-sensei told me he had advertised at the local Go salon.

  


"There'll be plenty of players coming just to see you," he said. "It's not often they have a chance to

play against someone who's about to play for the Honinbou title!"

  


Yes, because people who were about to play for titles usually spent time studying, I thought.

  


Still, that was better than seeing the outfits the girls had come up with. Cute, frilly, and... glittery. 

And each time they made the slightest alteration, they insisted on modeling them, and asking me for

my opinion.

  


"How does it look, Touya-sama?" 

  


"Is this color good on me, Touya-sama?"

  


"Don't a look just like a counter girl?"

  


Uh-huh. I'm sure Ichikawa would have quit if my father had decided that she had to wear any of the

designs.

  


Having girls twirl around, displaying themselves for my benefit was not doing anything for my

popularity among my male classmates... and I felt like my blush was now a permanent part of my

face.

  


One of the girls even asked if I would prefer the skirt, which hung a rather immodest eight inches

above her knees, shorter.

  


That hole swallowing me up would have been REALLY welcome. I thought I was about to pass out

before Isumi-san rudely escorted her away. I was feeling really light-headed as all the blood rushed

out of my skull and to... other parts.

  


I'm a sixteen year old boy — what do you expect of me?

  


Luckily, aside from being embarrassed by the constant parade of models, they didn't involve me too

heavily in preparations. I was taking a rare moment for myself when Fujita came to the library,

handing out lists of what we were expected to do.

  


"All you have to do is show up," Fujita told me.

  


I gave him a weak smile in return, even though I was still plotting ways to get out of it. "Yes," I

agreed softly.

  


He straightened a pile of papers on my desk absentmindedly, apparently something of a neat freak as

he examined me for a moment. "You really don't like all this attention, do you?" he asked

curiously. 

  


"I need it like I need a hole in the head," I told him honestly. I was a bit surprised that another boy

was actually treating me like I was a human being. 

  


I liked it. It didn't seem to occur to most of the rest of the world that I was human.

  


"You know, I thought I was going to be the class star," he said, and I regarded him a bit in surprise.

Someone actually wanted this kind of attention? The thought was incomprehensible to me, but

Fujita was still speaking.

  


"In middle school, I was the most popular guy, and I didn't see any reason for that to change — I

mean, I look good, have money, am reasonably intelligent and try to be nice, and I play soccer," he

told me. "But you..."

  


"I just wanted a normal school life," I confessed.

  


There was no jealousy or resentment in his eyes, and I tugged on my cuffs, unable to think of

anything to say. He was genuinely confused about what had happened.

  


So was I. I was a Go player... when had go gotten to be stylish? 

  


I will never, never understand women.

  


Neither, apparently, could Fujita, who just shrugged with a slightly helpless expression. "I don't get

it. Everything about you screams 'introvert.' I bet you wish you could find a hole and bury yourself

in it," Fujita told me. 

  


"Sometimes. Is it so wrong to want peace and quiet?"

  


A small smile found its way onto Fujita's face. "Life would be awfully boring that way, don't you

think?"

  


"I could use a little boredom. I've got enough going on..." I murmured, feeling a bit disgruntled.

  


"Oh?" Fujita sounded genuinely curious. "No offense, but I'm not clear exactly what a Go pro does.

All I know is that Kaidou-sensei is awfully impressed."

  


Even though I hadn't intended to, I told him exactly what my schedule was like. His eyes widened as

I explained the stress of my impending title game against Kuwabara-Honinbou, and how I was also

still in some of the last rounds of both the Gosei and Judan title matches.

  


"I... had no idea," he said. "Kaidou isn't kidding when he says you're impressive, is he?"

  


False modesty was getting me nowhere. "I'm one of the best of our generation. My father is the best

of his. It takes a lot of work and practice," I said bluntly.

  


"Why are you even bothering with school?"

  


"Because it seemed liked the right thing to do."

  


"I'll see if I can get some of the others to back off," Fujita said. "I know the guys haven't been that

nice."

  


I sighed. "I'm used to it. I always seem to make enemies."

  


"Isn't it lonely?"

  


"I have some friends," I told him softly. "When people don't like you, at least you know it's an

honest feeling."

  


He blinked a bit in surprise, and leaned a bit closer to me, so our faces were less than a foot apart.

His bright eyes seemed to suddenly start glowing. "You know, I can see why the girls think you're

so interesting. There's something about you..."

  


Oh, dear GODS! I thought. 

  


"Ex-excuse me!" I said, stumbling to my feet as I gathered my books and raced for the door.

It would be just my luck to end up with the second-most eligible guy lusting after me, on top of

everything else.

  


Dammit!

  


***

  


I knew my patience had been stretched to the limit by the way my father's study group was irritating

me. Usually I was quite happy to be with them, but today was a different story. Ashiwara's prattling

wasn't entertaining - it was annoying. And I was ready to cheerfully take Ogata's cigarette and... 

  


Well, I knew that my temper was on edge.

  


There was something about being around my father that is strangely calming — he seems to project

an aura of serenity that encompasses everything around him, making time stand still and everything

else insignificant. I want very much to be like him.

  


It was too bad that he was late for our study group, because lord knew I needed to be soothed. I was

wound tighter than a spring, and putting me in a room with Ashiwara and Ogata was not a good

idea. Don't get me wrong — I like both of them very much, but they're both unable to resist...

meddling. I swear Ogata finds my life a great drama set up for his personal amusement. And

Ashiwara... kami-sama save me when he has "my best interests" in mind.

  


Anyway.

  


The number of people who attend the study group varies from session to session. There's anywhere

from four to twenty, depending on how social my father was feeling, and if there was a major match

to be discussed. Other factors included weather, work schedules and if my mother had made her

famous mochi as a snack and word had leaked.

  


Go players will do anything for food.

  


My mother hadn't cooked, and there weren't any major tournaments that had just been played.

Therefore, the session was small, with only six people attending, including myself and my father.

  


Ashiwara and Ogata were regulars, rarely missing a session. Most people saw Ashiwara as natural

company for me because of how close we were in age and it was something I had mixed feelings

about. Ashiwara was one of the nicest people I knew, but he also was one of the densest. It reminded

me of dealing with a puppy that refused to get off a couch. I actually got along better with Ogata,

though I sometimes had horrifying visions that I would turn into him in twenty years.

  


I was not looking forward to living a Go-obsessed life with fish as my only company. But I could see

it happening.

  


The other two guests were Junpachi Suichirou and Echigoya Dan. Junpachi was a promising

amateur who was going to attempt the pro exams as an outsider, while Echigoya was a 5-dan who

had just lost the second preliminary round for the Gosei round. He wasn't destined for greatness, but

he was good company and loved the game.

  


Today, though, I was twitchy, and Ogata keyed in on it immediately.

  


I didn't like how he was looking at me. His eyes were following me like a cat eyeing its prey, and I

thought and the smoke that curled around him made me want to cough.

  


"How's school, Akira-kun?" he asked finally, his voice as smooth as silk.

  


"Fine."

  


He tilted his head and looked at me curiously, obviously detecting that Something Was Wrong from

my monosyllabic answer.

  


"Are you making a lot of new friends?" 

  


Game face, I thought. Wear your Scary Face! I thought. The Scary Face! will let him know you're

in a serious mood, and get him to bug off! "Some."

  


Obsessive stalkers probably counted by some definitions..

  


Ogata, though, was one of the few people who wasn't deterred by the game face. I had forgotten that

his game face was where I drew the inspiration for mine.

  


"Any of the girls give you love letters yet?" he asked, tilting his head curiously.

  


My back went rigid, and that blush, which I wish I knew how to hide, immediately sprung to life.

"O-ogata-san..."

  


Did Ichikawa tell him? I wondered, knowing her propensity to gossip, but she wouldn't do anything

to humiliate me like this, would she? A smirk found its way onto Ogata's lips, but he didn't say

anything else. He didn't need to - the damage was done.

  


Enter Ashiwara.

  


"You have a girlfriend?" he asked eagerly. "You're growing up on us! What's she like? Is she cute?

When can we meet her - and does she play Go?"

  


His questions tripped over themselves so fast I couldn't make sense of them, but even as I opened

my mouth to deny them, Junpachi was adding his two cents.

  


"It'd be best if she didn't play," he said. "Trying to have a girlfriend who plays is asking for trouble,

because she'd end up feeling humiliated."

  


"No! It's better when they do! That way you can share your love for the game with them!" Echigoya

disagreed.

  


"How do you know? When's the last time you went on a date?" Junpachi asked.

  


"That's not fair! Least I didn't get dumped at the altar!"

  


"Don't you dare bring that up!"

  


"Akira-kun, what's she look like?" Ashiwara asked. "You move so quick! Of course, I don't think

that's a surprise, considering that Touya-sensei was supposed to have married your mother four

months after meeting her..." He started counting on his fingers. "And I think you were born nine

months to the day..."

  


I did NOT want to know that! I had purposely avoided even trying to figure out my conception date,

and now Ashiwara was shoving it in my face! Some images were just too horrifying to think on -

and your parents having sex is one of them.

  


"Eight months," Ogata inserted smoothly. "They were married in April."

  


"Ohhhh, were they! I didn't realize it!" Ashiwara said, his eyes widening so they were the size of

saucers.

  


"We don't talk about it," Ogata said sternly. "But if Akira-kun has a girlfriend, maybe we should

talk to him before he gets into trouble."

  


"I do not have a girlfriend!"I said, horrified that they would even THINK I would do something like

that. 

  


Ashiwara gave me a disappointed look, before reaching over and giving me a friendly clout on the

back which shook my teeth. "Don't worry, I'm sure it will happen soon!" 

  


I shut my eyes, wishing they would all just go away. "Can we please just get on with this?" I

demanded.

  


They stared at me for a moment, before Echigoya seemed to come to himself. "Um, yes. I had a

problem I wanted some help with." He quickly arranged some stones on the goban, and we all stared

at the problem. "This was my last game. I was white, and I couldn't see a way out of this."

  


The game was close, and as we studied it, I realized that it was a life-or-death problem. It was hard

to focus my attention on the problem in front of me, and I took a deep breath, reminding myself that

this was Go, and I could solve it if I concentrated....

  


"Here," I said, pointing at the upper right corner, where white was about to overrun black. "If you

play a hane here, you should be able to prevent the opponent from connecting."

  


Rather than the usually nods of agreement, the others gave me dead silence in reply. Looking up

after the moment of silence extended into two, I realized they were all staring at me.

  


"Um, Akira..." Ashiwara said finally. "We're trying to think of the move for the WHITE side."

  


Ouch. Talk about embarrassing. "Um, white should work on connecting there, then?" I replied

weakly, but it was a bit too late to cover for myself. I had just let on that I was totally out of it. Not

wise, when Ogata Seiji was in the same room with you and considered you the movie of the week.

The smoke seemed to get even thicker as he leaned forward, and opened his mouth to ask another

question, one which I was sure would completely mortify me. 

  


I was saved, though, by the sound of the door opening and closing, and the measured sound of

footsteps I had always associated with my father.

  


Rescue!

  


"Hello, Touya-meijin," everyone said respectfully, and I took a deep breath, using a second to calm

myself down.

  


"Hello, father," I said. Tug, tug...

  


He noticed me fiddling with my sleeves immediately, since he always watched hands in the same

manner I did, and his eye arced slightly as he knelt down on the mat we had saved for him. 

  


"Are you okay, Akira?" he asked in concern.

  


I wanted to run my head into a wall. I wish I knew how to stop myself from messing with my cuffs

or collar every time I got upset.

  


"Fine!" I hurried to assure him, but everyone else gave him devious smiles.

  


He wasn't at all bothered by that. My father radiated his usual serenity and that made me feel

absolutely horrible. There's nothing worse about being in a bad mood than having the ideal of Zen

sit in front of you, innocently showcasing the way you should be behaving. My father is the person I

respect most in the world, but there's nothing like having a perfect role model to really set you on

edge.

  


So much for him calming me down.

  


"Ogata?" my father said simply, turning to the most senior member of the group without a regard

for what I said.

  


"Akira is apparently experiencing some girl problems in school," he said, taking a long drag on his

cigarette. "He won't say anything else."

  


Junpachi handed my father a cup of tea, which he sipped thoughtfully. "Akira brought home perfect

grades in his health classes, so I'm sure that's not a problem."

  


It took a moment for me to get at what he was getting at. Our junior high health classes contain a

section on sex education, and he was implying.... "Father!"

  


"Those classes aren't very practical, though," Echigoya lamented.

  


"You should know," Junpachi teased him.

  


"Shut up."

  


"I'm sure Akira is just a bit shy," my father said after a while. "It's not Go, but I'm sure he'll master

dating when he sets his mind to it."

  


Not you, too, Father! I thought desperately. The last thing I wanted was my father getting involved.

Somehow or other, if he did, I knew everything would seem so RATIONAL that I couldn't deny the

demands they made of me.

  


"It's not about dating!" I finally said, wishing they would just leave me alone.

  


The group looked back at me. "What is it, then?" my father asked.

  


It was very hard to think of a way to phrase what was happening without letting on that I had a fan

club that WAS full of girls - that would just give Ashiwara and Ogata perfect ammunition. "I have

an obsessed fan for a math teacher, and he's convinced the class that for our school festival this

Saturday, it'd be a good idea to present a Go salon."

  


They blinked once, and then all of them started to laugh - even my father was chuckling quietly. "A

Go salon in your school?" Ogata asked between snickers.

  


"Yes! They want me to tutor, and the girls are making what they think counter girls wear, and it's a

huge mess. I do not to get involved in this! I have the Honinbou finals coming up!"

  


My tirade just encouraged them to laugh even harder. Finally Ashiwara managed to choke back his

laughter enough to speak. "Akira-kun, it's good that students your age are getting interested in Go!

You love the game, why not share it with them?"

  


I was not about to let them know that I was more worried about the girls who were involved in

setting it up - along with our male class representative - using the opportunity to corner me. I just

glared at them, which set them off again. "Can we please just play?" I asked stubbornly.

  


Father watched me carefully as I pretended to turn my attention to the board, but it was Ogata's eyes

I felt more keenly. 

  


He was Up To Something.

  


Kami-sama help me survive the weekend...

  


END PART FOUR

  
  


Up Next: Part 5

  


The final part! What does it take to completely push Akira over the edge? You guessed it: Shindou

Hikaru...


	5. Fan Club Pins, Unwanted Commentators

Aishuu Offers:

**Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap**

A Hikaru no Go fanfiction Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata, as always.  
Notes: Thanks to Sailor Mac for looking this over. This one is for her, and Tam-chan, and all those people who were patient with me. Thanks to everyone who commented on the first half at the start of this month. First person who mentioned Brightly Burning gets a go ke to the head.

_

* * *

Part Five: Fan Club Pins, Unwanted Commentators and Shindou Hikaru's End Game_

My mother has a favorite saying: just take things one day at a time.

It's advice which I had been fervently trying to apply to the situation, but unfortunately for me, I was a Go player. Go players are not of the mind set to take things "one at a time" since we tend to plan at least fifteen moves ahead.

Maybe that was why I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. All I could see was the fact that even if I managed to survive the festival, I would not be in a position to solve any of my problems. My high school life looked like it was going to be a perpetual cycle of me being hit on by people of both genders, conned into playing games by a psycho sensei, and being completely socially inept when it came to everything else.

It was going to be a long three years. Dropping out was starting to look like a viable option, but I had an amazing stubborn streak. There was no way that they were going to make me run away.

Though I seriously reconsidered when I arrived at school for the festival.

Since I had already been assigned a role, the class didn't ask me to arrive early to help with the set up. All that I needed to do was arrive half and hour before the festival started to give a final look-over of the arrangements. I'm sure that they realized they were pushing their luck as it was. I seriously considered checking with the Institute and seeing if there were any tournaments that needed help that day, but my sense of responsibility kept me from chickening out like that.

That morning, I made my way through the hallway of school, which was filled with students dressed in fantastic costumes and bright decorations. I felt a bit drab in my plain uniform, but after seeing someone dressed as a lobster race by, I considered myself fortunate. It wasn't like tutoring wasn't something I hadn't done before, right?

The classroom was hardly recognizable. The desks had been stowed somewhere, and tables had been brought in and lined up, and spread with neat cloths. Coffee was brewing in a corner, and a small counter had been set up by the doorway. Girls fluttered around in glittery costumes with short skirts that looked more like cosplay costumes than anything Ichikawa would be caught dead in.

Maaya spotted me immediately, of course, and Emi materialized by my side, intent on performing her duties as my bodyguard. I was getting used to her presence, really, since she was quiet and unobtrusive usually.

Maaya, though, was wearing a bright green outfit with a full skirt - and cat ears. It was very hard not to laugh. She looked absolutely ridiculous. The thing about her, though, is that she had no sense of modesty, for she plowed through three of our classmates in her determination to meet me.

I tried to keep my eyes on her face, because her skirt was riding dangerously high as she spun past Fujita, who was locked in a deep conversation with two other classmates of ours, Kiriji Daisuke and Hanagawa Hiroshi.

"Touya-sama!" she said happily as she settled in front of me. "I have something to show you!" She shoved her hand in her pocket and produced a pin that looked like a white Go stone with my last name emblazoned in gold on it. "Isn't it cute?" she squealed.

Cute was not the word I was thinking. Horribly tacky and terribly embarrassing were more along the proper lines, but I didn't have the heart to shoot her down. "What... what is it?" I asked in trepidation, though I had a feeling I already knew.

She was oblivious to my less than enthusiastic attitude. "Fan club pins! They finally arrived - we've had them on order for weeks, but since we're using real Go stones, it took a while to get them custom made."

I stared at the Go stone, thinking of how they were profaning my beloved game. "You... made pins out of Go stones," I said a tad flatly.

"A whole set worth! And we're almost out!" she announced happily.

There were 361 Go stones in the average set. I felt myself go pale. I didn't realize that my fan club was that large and that reality scared me. I was being stalked by over half the female student body....

...and then Fujita walked over with a gentle smile that was just a tad too intimate, and I amended the thought. Half the female body, plus a few extra.

Transfer, I thought. Or a private tutor.

Fujita, though, was on business. He ignored Maaya, who sniffed at him disdainfully. "Touya-kun, there's been a change of plans," he said, and he seemed to be a bit apologetic. "Last night-"

"Is this Touya Akira's classroom?" I heard an irritable voice ask from the door - a voice that I would recognize anywhere.

I actually pinched myself physically, ignoring the confused looks Fujita and Maaya gave me. This could not be happening. He could not be here.

Life wasn't that kind, though. Shindou Hikaru was at the door, talking to Chieko, who looked bowled over by him.

Oh, crap.

The idea of the damage his careless mouth could do made my imagination - limited though it was - kick into overdrive.

"Excuse me," I murmured to Fujita, and then darted for Shindou, rudely grabbing him by the elbow and dragging him back into the hall before he even had a chance to register my presence. The chaos of the festival swirled around us, but it was better than letting my fan club officers have unlimited access to our conversation.

"What are you doing here?" I asked icily. Had Ogata or Ashiwara informed him of the festival, and sent him to keep me company? It seemed like the kind of thing they would come up with, and I would kill them both.

Shindou, though, seemed confused. "Aren't you expecting me?" he asked cluelessly.

"No," I bit out.

Shindou looked down at the sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. "Um, I'm supposed to be here. The Institute assigned me to give a demonstration with you today," he said, holding out a piece of paper. He waved it in my face. "I thought it was a bit weird, since it only arrived yesterday, but it's official. I was hoping you'd be able to explain it a bit better."

I snatched it out of his hands, and sure enough, Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira were scheduled for a demonstration match at Toriyama High School at 10 a.m. on Friday with - Waya Yoshitaka and Ochi Kousuke commentating?

Oh, hell.

"Ogata-sensei has a nasty sense of humor," I said, realizing who had to be the one who set this up. I was never, ever talking to the man again. He seemed determined to push me completely over the edge.

"Huh?" Shindou asked. "Is he around here?" He looked a little bit panicky.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Don't you like Ogata-jyudan?" I teased. I knew Shindou had a tendency to get a bit nervous around him, and it was fun to watch Shindou get uncomfortable, since he was so used to disconcerting the rest of us. Misery loves company after all, and if I was going to be embarrassed, I was at least going to get some of my own back first.

"He's still obsessed with Sai," Shindou groaned. "No matter how many times I tell him I am not Sai, I do not know Sai, I cannot arrange a match between him and Sai, he keeps pressing."

I smirked. I knew Shindou was lying, but pressing Shindou was a sure-fire way to send the bleach straight to his brain and see him go completely air-headed. "Uh-huh. Do you want to go to the classroom? We can set up, since apparently it's an assigned match. I wonder why I didn't get one-"

"Because they knew you'd be here?" Shindou suggested, starting off at my side. "This is your school?" He craned his head around curiously. "You always choose nice places."

"I have the grades for it," I told him, trying to bait him. It was quite well known that Shindou was less than stellar when it came to academic pursuits.

He smiled a bit. "I'm glad to be out. I get to play Go all day long, make money for doing it, and I'm gonna catch up to you while you waste your time in school," he threatened.

That was a concern of mine, but I wasn't about to let him know it. "I highly doubt it. I've been studying all my life, and while you may have some talent, that can never be a substitute for practice. And I'm still practicing."

"Who won our last match?" Shindou taunted.

I refrained from reaching over and throttling him through years of exposure to his attitude. Instead I leveled a cool look at him, which I knew he found more infuriating, anyway. "That's one out of how many?"

He grumbled and I pushed the door open, and we walked in.

Dead silence.

Oh, not again, I thought.

"Shindou, we'll perform the game in the front of the room, I guess?" I suggested, looking around. "Do you know if Waya or Ochi is bringing a display board?"

My voice fell into the silence, and then Maaya came up to us. "Do you play Go?" she asked Shindou. Her eyes were scanning him avidly, and I realized suddenly that half my fan club might be persuaded that Shindou Hikaru was really a better person to adore. I pursed my lips as I considered Shindou, realizing for the first time that Shindou might be attractive to females.

YES! THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD THING! my thoughts screamed.

I put a hand on Shindou's shoulder and propelled him at Maaya before he could answer. "Yes, he does," I said. "He's actually not half bad. How about you show him around and introduce him while I see to setting up?" I suggested wickedly.

Shindou looked like a puppy I had just kicked. "Um, Touya-"

"I need to do some stuff," I said and waved them off. Unlike me, Shindou was good at meeting strangers and would have them eating out of his hand without even trying. I was liking this plan more and more.

I heard Hiroshi's laughter and smiled a bit to myself as I moved forward to check out the goban and chairs. Ochi and Waya would be coming as well... I immediately discounted the possibility of Ochi, but maybe I could pawn some more off on Waya-

"You look thoughtful, Touya," Fujita said to me.

I smiled. "Just thinking of a couple of moves," I said. "I wasn't expecting to have to play a serious game today."

"What do you mean?" Fujita asked, coming closer. I tried very hard not to pull away, since he wasn't actually invading my personal space, but only watching as I polished the goban, and checking the go kes for the stones. It would be rude, and Fujita hadn't really made any overt advances.

"No one told me Shindou was assigned to show up," I said. I glanced over at him, not at all surprised to see him surrounded by a few of my more devoted fan club members. I grabbed a go ke full of stones off the table to keep my hands busy and to use as a subtle shield against him.

"Isn't it just a practice game?" Fujita asked curiously.

"Not between me and Shindou," I said.

True enough. The chance to play Shindou was making the day look a bit brighter. Maybe the festival would turn out okay-

"What are THOSE?" I heard Shindou say, and suddenly my good idea didn't seem so good anymore. I glanced over at Maaya, who was pointing out her Touya Fan Club pin, explaining, and I saw Shindou's hand rising to his mouth, obviously trying not to laugh too hard.

I glared across the room at him, trying to decide if intervening was a good idea. He merely winked at me mischievously, and I resolved to punish him by thoroughly humiliating him by beating him by ten moku.

Daisuke noticed my glare and shivered. "I wouldn't want to be Shindou right now," he said to Hiroshi, but it was loud enough to be overheard.

"It's a bad idea to get between the two of them when they start on one of their matches," a voice chimed in. "Bystanders get hurt."

"You make it sound like they're obsessed with each other - wait! They are!" another voice said melodramatically.

I turned, ready to snap out something downright nasty. It had to be Ochi and Waya, and while I knew Ochi had a right to be a bit bitter after I had used him as Shindou bait, Waya had hated me for the longest time and I had no clue why. It didn't hurt my feelings, but it was irritating.

The look on my face must have been downright hysterical, for Waya cracked up laughing and Ochi smirked. Daisuke and Hiroshi merely looked curious and a bit nervous. I didn't know either of them well - they tended to be quiet and fade into the background, having the kind of student life that I had always imagined would be mine.

Ochi looked as bland as ever, his hands folded across his chest as he stood next to the taller Waya, but Waya's eyes were darting around the room curiously. A slight smile danced over his lips, and I knew that my hell was now complete. He was going to have a blast at my expense.

"Yo, Touya," Waya said, coming over to stand next to us. He was dressed in a tie and suit and looking uncomfortable, but his eyes were sparkling as he surveyed the scene. "Want to let us in on what the deal is?"

No, not really, I thought.

It was one thing to tell Shindou I'd been set up by Ogata - Shindou knew the man. It would be quite another to tell a player who despised me for breathing that I'd been hung out to dry by my mentor as a practical joke.

"Shindou and I are giving a Go demonstration," I said flatly. "You're commentating."

Waya looked pained. "That's obvious. But why are we doing this at your school? Are you that special that-"

Oh, here it comes, I thought. The long lecture on why Touya Akira gets special treatment and how the Go Institute spoils him.

"Leave him alone, Waya," Shindou said, coming up to us. "I don't think this was his idea." He gave Waya one of those looks he used whenever he wanted people to take him seriously.

I was thankful for his support for all of five seconds before I heard a few of the girls start giggling. It took a few moments of confusion before I overheard snatches of what was going on. My attention drifted over to the rather unwelcome - though not unexpected - sight.

Kaidou-sensei had just arrived with a bunch of older men who looked like they were probably friends of his that were regulars at whatever Go salon he favored. There were about twelve of them, and they seemed a bit out of place at a school festival, but they way they were looking back and forth between Shindou and myself made my stomach knot.

The girls, though were staring in rapt fascination as their sensei did a wonderful impression of a fanboy, leading a group of old men in a giddy display of glee.

"I can't believe it!" Kaidou was saying. "The Go Institute has set up a special match between Touya-sensei and Shindou-sensei! This is going to be wonderful!" He clapped the most withered looking man on the shoulders. "Told you it'd be worth coming!"

The man gave a slight scowl. "It'll be fun watching your pupil get trounced."

Kaidou and about three-fourths of the group gasped in shock. Finally Kaidou found his voice. "Touya-sensei isn't going to lose, Murasaki!"

"Shindou's better than he is. Shindou's hitting his stride, and Touya isn't going to be able to ride the family name anymore!" Murasaki said smugly.

Ouch. That was one of the things I hated most. While I was very proud of my father, my achievements were my own.

Kaidou was extremely offended on my behalf. "Listen, you thirty-kyu! You wouldn't know talent if it stared you in the face!"

"You're so stuck on tradition that you can't see that a new age is here for the world of Go!" Murasaki spat back. The two men were nose-to-nose, and looked like they were about to come to blows.

"Wanna bet on it?"

"5,000 yen says Shindou wins!"

The men started to place wagers, goading each other nastily and teasing each other horribly. They started to compare Shindou and my recent records, talking about our styles and personalities, and I felt like a horse in some kind of race. I was tempted to ask if they wanted to inspect my teeth.

The sour look on my face must have been quite telling, because Ochi looked at me in a manner that could have been taken to be almost sympathetic. "Are they like this all the time?"

"Usually there's only Kaidou-sensei."

Waya was trying hard to muzzle his laughter under a hand, and failing miserably. "You have one of your biggest fans as your teacher? I bet you're getting all A's!"

It was not my fault that I managed to drop the go ke I was holding on Waya's foot. Really!

"I'm sorry, Waya. It slipped," I apologized as the dark stones bounced all over his feet, but he was too busy hopping around over getting his foot smushed. The go ke wasn't that heavy, so I thought he was overdoing it a bit. Then again, he was wearing sandals instead of proper shoes... "Could someone help Waya clean this up?" I asked, raising my voice so it broke cleanly through the room, and then there was about ten girls in ridiculous costumes practically crawling all over Waya in an attempt to find those pesky little stones.

"Gloating is rude, Touya," Shindou whispered to me as we headed to the game board.

"He had it coming." I couldn't wipe the slight smirk off my face.

"He's commenting today, and you just pissed him off. Real bright."

I shrugged. It wasn't like Waya didn't already detest me.

The appointed hour was inching closer, and Shindou and I took our seats. Space had been clear so people could attempt to watch us, but the game would truly be displayed using the velcro Go board that Waya and Ochi had brought.

I could feel that sensation of calm that I only knew when playing Go start to wash through me, relieving me of the stress of class and peers and teachers. All that mattered was the game, and I was playing Shindou. Shindou, too, seemed to be going into what I thought of as he "Go mood." He was irritating as hell away from a goban, but when he got serious, he was probably my best friend. His face lost that smile which I was always tempted to smack off of him, and the set of his shoulders firmed up.

Of course, the momentary piece that I knew had to be disrupted by the crowd which was gathering. Usually it would take an atomic bomb to distract me from a game, but when Waya opened his mouth, I knew that this battle would be a match about who could keep his concentration.

"Welcome to the first Toriyama High Go Tournament! I'm Waya Yoshitaka, and this is Ochi Kousuke, and we're going to explain what's going on." Ochi sniffed a bit at how casual his introduction was. "In the blue, we have fan favorite Touya Akira, who is going to play my best friend, Shindou Hikaru! Who happens to be the one with bleached bangs and the Go! Go! Go! Shirt."

The girls laughed at Waya's lighthearted style, but I again considered the possibility of homicide. I wondered if they would let me have a goban in prison...

Shindou sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Can we start now?" he asked in an irritated voice.

"Yes, yes! What the players are going to do now is nigiri to decide who has what color stones. In Go, black gets to go first, which gives that player the advantage. To even things out, a komi of 5.5 stones is set. That means black has to win by six stones to win the game."

When we drew our stones, I wasn't surprised to end up with white. I played white more often than not in our matches - as it should be. White was still a bit harder to win with.

I tuned it out as Waya rambled about the goal of the game, considering what moves to play. Was Shindou going to go for a conventional opening, or try to throw me off using one of his stranger plans? I really wanted him to play the Tengen opening just once, because I'd like to see-

"Don't they look cute?" I heard a girl say in a voice that was a bit too loud to be polite. "It's like seeing light and dark angels together!"

I blinked, trying to regain my focus, but another voice spoke from the other side, one which made my back stiffen in reflex. "That 5,000 yen is going to be mine!" I heard Kaidou say to one of his cohorts. "His skills are heavenly! Did I tell you he's been playing me?"

"Only a hundred times," Murasaki replied. "I don't think it's all that special, though. Go pros will play anyone if you give them enough cash." The way he said it made me sound like a prostitute, and it was very, very hard not to start twitching.

Deep breath, breathe, Akira, I told myself.

Shindou waited with amazing patience for Waya to finally turn to us and proclaim the match beginning. His lips curved just a bit as he fearlessly took the tengen.

Dammit, I hated when he did that. It was going to be one of those games.

I heard Waya sigh, and mutter something under his breath about how Shindou was being difficult. "Ah... yes. What Shindou just did is take the tengen, which is the center space of the board - it's not a common move, because it cuts off a lot of potential moves for territory."

"Shindou's moves are now going to have to either gain influence or connect later on - which Touya isn't going to let him do easily."

"Touya never lets Shindou do anything easily," Waya said.

Could they just shut up? I wondered as I finally decided to counter by taking 3-4... to which Shindou quite quickly replied, mirroring my move across the board. Our hands started to come faster and faster, and I felt something start to unwind inside of me. This was Go; this was something I could understand and...

"Slow down!" Waya ordered abruptly, piercing through my focus. "This is a demonstration match, not speed Go!"

I jerked my eyes away from the board, wondering if I could get away with strangling him. I wouldn't kill him... no, but maiming sounded good.

Shindou was undeterred, not even pausing as he made the next move. I heard, more than saw the move, and my fingers responded instinctively, still going at the whizzing pace.

"Well, it looks like we're being treated to a demonstration in speed Go. While pros often play with timed hands, this is a version which stressing reaction over thought-"

"I wonder if they're replaying a game they've done before?" Ochi chimed in.

"Why would we do that?" Shindou asked, puzzlement in his voice, and played a hane.

"Because you want to look cool?" Ochi said dryly to what should have been a rhetorical question.

Normally Ochi's rancor would have rolled right over me, but I was already irritated and jumpy. I opened my mouth to deliver a stinging retort, but Maaya beat me to it.

"He already is cool, you horrible, ugly, little gnome!" she shot from her place in the front row, punctuating her words by stomping her foot. Behind her, Emi started to crack her knuckles threateningly, apparently deciding that I was about to need her.

Ochi turned bright red, and I watched in macabre fascination. It really looked like he was about to have a heart-attack. The older crew that Kaidou had brought began muttering disapprovingly about "kids these days."

"Wh-you-" Ochi stuttered, too incensed to think clearly. He took a deep breath, and straightened his glasses. "At least I don't win because of my last name," he said clearly.

Utter silence met his statement. The stone I was holding slipped from my fingers and fell on the board, ringing ominously against the kaya. Not surprisingly, it landed in the worst possible position, and I stared at it numbly. I had always heard insults about being too proud of my father, but no one ever accused me of not having the skill myself. It was one of the worst insults that had ever been flung my way.

Shindou looked at the board nervously. "Um, you can redo it," he offered.

The idea was anathema. No Go player worthy of his dan ever "redid" a move, forced mistake or not. "I'll play it."

"But-"

"I said I'll play it," I growled, even though I knew I was committing to losing the game. My hair brushed against my cheeks as I leaned forward to study the board, hoping to find a way to keep from suffering a brutal loss. I just needed to treat this like a handicap....

Shindou shook his head, but attacked the right. "Your loss. It's not going to be fun to beat you like this."

Over our conversation, I heard Kaidou-sensei start to yell at Ochi, and Waya inserting some choice comments that just inflamed them. I heard the rustle of fabric as my fan club advanced, only to be stopped by half of Kaidou's friends, the ones who had been rooting for Shindou. Voices started to rise, and a tension headache began to throb across my forehead.

"Just because you don't have half the talent of Touya-sensei-"

"-what you're wearing is positively immodest! In my day-"

"You still haven't beaten him, have you?"

"Shindou has ten times the talent, and you don't see him hanging off of Daddy!"

The board in front of me grew distant, and I knew then that all I wanted was to leave. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go, but Belgium was starting to sound good. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to finish a game.

"Touya?" Shindou asked in concern. "Are you okay?"

"They're too damn loud for me to hear the voices in my head," I muttered. I had no clue where it came from, but it sounded good.

Shindou froze. "Touya?" He looked genuinely shaken, and it struck me as hilariously funny.

I started to giggle, which I hated doing since I sounded like a girl. "The voices in my head that tell me where to play," I said, unable to let it drop.

Shindou set the stone he was holding back in his go ke. His face was ashen, probably because it was painful to watch his number one rival lose his tenuous grasp on reality. "Touya..."

I smiled at him. "What? The voices know a lot about Go. Maybe the spirits of my ancestors want to have another chance at finding the hand of god..." I actually cackled. "It works, doesn't it?"

Somewhere in the middle of my ramble, the classroom had fallen into one of those lulls that seemed designed to let everyone hear you embarrass yourself. I smiled serenely as I placed my next stone, knowing I had just completely shot my reputation. The sick look on Shindou's face made it almost worth it.

Maaya wailed, before rudely grabbing me from behind and spinning me around. "Poor Touya!" she cried, pressing my face into her chest. "It's been too much stress, being the best, hasn't it? Don't worry, we'll take care of you!"

My face started to turn purple as she rubbed her chest against my head in what was supposed to be a comforting manner. Waya started to snicker, and I shoved her away, accidently touching her breasts.

I stared at my hands in shock. I'd never touched a girl there before.

Maaya shrieked, forgetting about wanting to mother me, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "Pervert!" she shrieked, completely ignoring the fact that she'd been pushing herself off on me.

Chieko and the others weren't as loyal to Maaya as they should have been.

"You slut! He'll have to marry you!" one who I didn't recognize wailed, clenching her fists angrily. "How dare you take Touya-sama for yourself!"

"I did not! You saw him touch me!" Maaya was affronted at the implication she would betray her sisterhood of stalkers.

"Only because you made him!" Chieko said angrily.

"I did no such thing! Just because I'm closer to Touya-sama then all of you-"

"Hey, I'm closer than any of you!" Fujita said loudly.

Kaidou's friends apparently decided to just ignore the catfight (which looked on the verge of descending into hair-pulling and scratching) and turned on each other, with Waya and Ochi in the thick of it.

"Just because you never made it out of the insei, don't think-"

"It's my job to tutor idiots."

"Didn't Touya tutor you?"

"He's tutoring me now, and-"

My head was threatening to explode. Shindou still looked like he was about to faint. "Shindou? Are you okay?" echoing his words of a moment earlier.

He shook his head. "I- well, no one is paying attention... I have to go!" He was on his feet and racing for the door.

Oh, no... he wasn't doing this again! I thought angrily. There was no way in hell I was letting him leave when I knew I couldn't. Without even thinking, I grabbed the nearest object and threw it at him.

I knocked Shindou Hikaru out with a go ke.

I watched in morbid fascination as the container struck Shindou on the back of the head, spilling out small shell chips all over the floor. Shindou teetered precariously for a second, before toppling forward onto his face. The sound of his body hitting the floor was the only noise as everyone, attracted by the crackle of spilled stones as they scattered to the floor, watched in horror.

Now I'd really done it.

Everyone's eyes turned to me as I blinked slowly, trying to think up some reasonable excuse for my actions, but failing miserable. I took a deep breath, then wiped my face clean of all expression.

"He didn't resign properly," I said primly, before beginning to clear the board. Since white's go ke was on the floor, I merely set the shell stones aside even as I neatly slid the slate ones into the go ke Shindou had been using.

It was Daisuke who managed to find his voice first. "He's scary," he whispered to his sidekick, Hiroshi.

Scary I could live with. "Waya, would you be so kind as to drag Shindou out? I believe he was on his way somewhere," I said coolly, using the voice that intimidated so many of my opponents.

Waya swallowed and nodded, grabbing Ochi by the arm. "Let's get while the going's good," he whispered in a sotto voce which I still managed to hear. "Touya's snapped..."

I watched them leave with narrowed eyes. "Would anyone like a shidago game?" I asked innocently, blinking at the crowd.

For some reason, no one volunteered.

THE END


End file.
